ATTACK WEEK

You build a summary of a strange week of animal on animal attacks:

1. Akita on Doxie
2. Raccoon on Cat
3. Akita on Sharpei mix
4. Cat on Cat
5. Coyote on Terrier

Sausage Baron’s Dog Takes Bite of Wiener Dog

You respond to a call on Venice Boardwalk: a small dog has been attacked by his roommate dog. The poor woman moved in to a vacant room and has been also forced to share the apartment with a young male Akita. She had even mistakenly thought her doxie could be the new little Mascot for The Sausage Baron on the Beach. But no no no. The Baron’s dog would not have it and you are assigned repair duty. The shaken ex-new roommate tells you this is not the first time that Jordan (not his real name) the chewed up Dachshund has been tasted by the Akita who lives above the Sausage Empire with jewels intact simply protecting his territory from any would-be new cute little “Mascot” with any designs on being favorite to the Baron.

You stabilize and transport the victim to the clinic for surgical repairs and hospitalization and this where the trend begins and a new character also emerges

Rocky Raccoon

A beautiful early morning drive to the Far Continent as you call it owing to the fact that every destination in Palos Verdes is 8 miles from the freeway a painful tragedy of civil engineering flaws in the system and you end up on the bluff overlooking grand ocean cliffs and Donald Trump’s golf course with ridiculous vacant estates down below. It is here you find the lovely caretaker of animals indoor and out and she asks you in and she leads you past picture window sweeping views and into a room to a cowering little Torti under the bed.

Rocky (real name because of her nickname) plays a game of chase me here and there down the stairs up again and into the bathroom. She is snuffling snorting through her nose. You find Rocky has been bitten in the face mostly likely by a raccoon judging by the story of our caretaker, the puncture wounds into her sinus. You picture a curious cat nosing up to a cowering raccoon outside since the raccoon enjoy cat food as much as the next wild animal and the pickens are getting slim much like the look of the coyotes.

Rocky heads 8 miles out from the Far Continent back to Metropolis and the clinic to be radiographed, surgically repaired, and hospitalized. She is a lovely little cat as it turns out and a staff favourite.

You grow quite fond of her during her stay in her own private suite and your office. She is even more of a joy on her SECOND round of hospitalization…but that’s a later episode as ATTACK WEEK continues…Standby Rocky.


You erroneously assumed that a couple fun hours with the family at the bowling alley could go by without the service summoning you again. You ask the caller to hold while you gutter two balls not distracted at all by this, the third attack, this time dog on dog.

The Sticky Goo of A Power Grab While Owners on Vacation

It’s a typical struggle of young vs. old, strong vs. weak, Akita vs. Sharpei Cross, owners-on-vacation variety of attack. The caller is your neighbor who was roped in as dog sitter while the previous dog sitter has a medical emergency of his own. Now you come to understand the Sharpei is under the house and was attacked LAST NIGHT. You envision wounds starting to fester and the dog going septic aka bacterial blood infection when you hear the dog is not eating. You inform your family of a shortening of the evening of bowling ending on just one single game once again they all painfully acquiesce and head back to your SUV.

You arrive at the dark residence to find a frightened bloodied Sharpei/Shepherd mix Agatha (not her real name) being consoled by your neighbor Patty the defacto dog sitter. You calmly examine Agatha and sedate her and soon she is calm and carefully whisked off by you and Alex the Tech to the clinic for some surgical repair and hospitalization.

Agatha look-a-like

You are rudely reminded while suturing and debriding a Sharpei that the cut edges of this breed’s skin is like a sort of “goo”, or sticky gel. Most unusual. In fact, certain of the small lacerations and punctures have automatically glued back together by the goo. You piece the dog together and place drains and keep Agatha at the clinic in her own suite. Yes lodging in the same suite as Rocky Raccoon the previous attack victim.

The previously aggressive dog has becoming quite loving here in her safe environment where she stays to heal her housing situation up in the air. Can she return to the hostile home with the young Akita or should she find a new place to live? Was the balance simply upset by the extended leave of the owners on vacation as you have found to be a verified phenomenon. The owners may have created a power struggle and their absence triggered a power grab by the Akita since they certainly must have punished his outbursts against his elder aunt Agatha the shear disrespect has raised the owners ire leading to reprimand after reprimand of the juvenile mush dog creating further imbalance. The stage was set by PREVENTING a natural pecking order to occur. If the Akita is meant to be dominant then it should be so.

You discharge the damaged, yet recovering Agatha who jumps for joy to see the returned vacationing owners of the dogs. They admit scolding the Akita for attempting to dominate the previous Alpha Agatha. But the change would have happened and peace restored quickly and naturally if it weren’t for owners’ (although well-meaning) interference of the process and the damage may have been avoided or at least postponed for awhile. Can’t we all just get along?

Marauder Cat Disrespects Territory of Beverly Hills Cat

After the third ATTACK you fully accept the arrival of the FOURTH in the series when a frantic previous client calls and is in need of assistance getting the cat into a carrier and to the vet. Instead you offer a home visit to assess and treat on site or transport with sedation as needed.

Upon arrival to suburban Beverly Hills, you exit the vehicle in the driveway to meet the worried owner and both look down on the ground between the adjacent neighbor driveways to find multiple tufts of fluffy white hair and both surmise that we are standing on the battlefield where BOOTS (not his real name) stood his ground and made a stand on the border. The woman proclaims that the marauder cat should know better and not have entered her cat’s territory. It’s a rule of catdom, she espouses. You beg to differ. Cats who spend anytime outdoors are at risk of getting into a fight, hit by car, catch a virus, some deadly and so on.

You extract the poor, shredded kitty from (where else?) under the bed with kindness and sedation. The owner continues to maintain that the marauder should respect poor Boots’ land.

Due the severity of the injuries and multiple locations you decide it be best to bring the cat in for repairs under gas anesthesia at the clinic. Boots hangs out with you for the day and is released in the afternoon without an E-collar that you had advised. You’ve come to accept people’s personal dissent with certain veterinary standards like neutering before puberty or rejection of antibiotics or corticosteroids as well as the rejection of post-op recommendations. But fortunately Boots leaves your sutures alone. And returns to his chaperoned visits within the high-walled-in backyard with his mom and only looks longingly now and then through living room picture window overlooking the front lawn formally known as his territory.


Coyote Loses Silky Meal in Shocking Fashion

Sunday comes around and a full day of family fun and treatment of the attack victim in-patient, Rocky Raccoon who has survived a Raccoon chomp to the face and has now revisited your clinic due to an adverse reaction to a certain anti-inflammatory and must repair his kidneys with IV fluids etc but now the day has ended or has it you think as you lay your head down tentatively upon a cold pillow just as the Service buzzes the iPhone. You snap to coherence for the consult with the frantic owner. His little dog, Ty (not his real name) was attacked by a Coyote and they need you to come finish off the poor dog. The owner describes the lack of breathing or shallow breathing and the condition improves with his every word and now the dog is sitting up and how weird it was that he looked half dead and you explain he was actually in shock and has snapped out of it and the owner sees blood and implores you to come.


Webster (not his real name), the urban coyote

You arrive bleary-eyed at the Los Feliz estate the housekeeper motions you inside the property gate that swings closed behind. You are greeted by an energetic Aussie and bulldog that lead you up the steps into the house as if they know you are there to help their wounded friend. The mom and dad of the house greet you and lead you to the fallen Ty cowering in a dog bed in the hallway. You give the pup a painkiller after determining his stability and surmise that several deep puncture wounds in the neck are in need of surgical attention. You wrap Ty’s neck with bandage materials and padding as the dad explains that the coyote had grabbed the dog by the neck with his collar in his mouth as the horrified housekeeper was screaming all the while and thereupon reaching the gate the coyote must have received a nice jolting shock and dropped Ty. You come to understand the victim dog, as well as the other pets, are equipped with a shock collar associated with Invisible Fence surrounding the property. Thus, Ty is saved by the electronic collar which the coyote broke off and dropped in the yard.

You transport Ty back to the clinic for repairs where he mends over the next few days finally going to the confines behind the Invisible Fence and its previously unforeseen additional level of protection. And so ends ATTACK WEEK… till we meet again

There's No Place Like a Home

You enter the backyard of two dogs that have been fighting. It's just their house now. Then you hear about the manchild who lived there in Florence on his mother's good graces and has left his dogs at the boarded up house. But he did leave a dog house for the dogs. And a garage. The mother comes to feed the dogs every day for the son. The son bought another house in another neighborhood but he didn't want those dogs. They have been fighting and he doesn't wanna DEAL with it. The dogs fought over chicken his mom brought them. You and Tech creep further into the backyard to find one of the dogs cowering inside his house. You catch the characteristic whiff of infected bite wounds. Kona the Akita (not her real name) is real bitten up. Terrible thing. You and Tech have to rope and pry her from her wood house in order to help her. Tech finds the other dog, a Mastiff, wagging her tail inside the garage. She's got cuts on her head, but she's gotten the least of it. The mother tells you how the son is not very responsible. He told her that it was her fault that they fought. Now you have to take the dog to hospital and Kona's not feeling so hot but will after the pain shot you gave kicks in.

On the drive back to the Westside and a stop at Critical Care to hospitalize Kona you reminisce about all the homes you have been to and all the diverse living situations for pets in their owner's environment. From the girl who lived in a closet with her cat, to the toy dog running down the long corridor that is the bathroom/dressing room - powder room in some Starlet's mansion. Pets seem to adapt and adopt to their owner's and their surroundings. They make do with the space that they have. They don't pine for more space and find their place in a huge space. Pet's don't seem to mind the clutter you often discover upon entering their domain. They simply make their home in the junk around the junk through the junk. You tell Tech the story about the guy with two Great Danes (since passed away) and about his business, sport or pastime rescuing cats and their offspring. They live and breed within the junk pile. The wall of stuff dividing the room: chairs entwined with boxes and a BIKE and garden tools and a kitten comes out of there running through your legs out the door.

You sleep very little that night and the kids act up and the dogs bark at the squirrels and the mowers and blowers go off you go back at it and in no time you are back déjà vu at ANOTHER DOGFIGHT where the poor victim lives 40 crooked concrete steps above the street and you know how this is going to end with a large body coming down and your tech is out of cell range and dispatch did not acquire this information and now you need to make a new Rule. After passing two cabled bark-lunging pit mixes outside the rescue woman leads you into her abode where you enter the cozy cluttered room and the strong odor of kennel bum rushes into your lungs but somehow you instantly adapt. The poor, hairy Wookie on the floor is a mess of pink water and wounds. You labor dripping sweat shaving the anesthetized beast and finding extensive bruising with internal issues as well as a lot of swiss cheese skin who’s holes you debride and reduce with proper drainage but no matter what you do this puppy’s going to heaven. The new rescue bumped off the old Chow King and took his place. You console the owner as she curses the new dog.

Before you know it is night again and this night’s dog horror show is going to be the topper. Cause it’s Saturday Night! Time to party down dogs. Who’s it going to be? Nevermind you just finished up your “last call” at 9PM in time for dinner under the tin foil to be heated in the micro. It’s time for the Main Event. You are waiting and drifting and leaning elbow on the laptop making ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh till you jolt awake to the buzzing of the iPhone it’s the Service and there’s a dog fight. Unfarkingbelievable. How did you know? Everything comes in threes you know. Groggily you attempt to determine the situation. There are two labs. The original dog and the new dog. New D has been quite a sore thumb lately. He’s aggressive. Finally tonight, Original D took offense to New D fronting like that and gave him a beat down. You hear more of the story and you gather additional pertinent facts that New D has been aggressive towards the family and they are quite afraid of him. They are trying to find him a home good luck without extensive behavioral evaluation medication and the risk of bodily harm where’s Cesar Milan when you think you need him? You ponder the possibilities: a usually very loyal loving breed like the Labrador turns on owners and the odds of a sociopathic brain disorder become exceedingly good in this case. And as dispatch is unable to approve the owner’s payment the owner tells you that she’s calling you from OUTSIDE THE HOUSE. She can’t go back in. The New D is in such severe pain he won’t let her back in the house. She wants YOU to go in there the late Steve Irwin style and sedate New D and get him out of there but it dawns on you that Animal Control would be perfect in this instance and she takes your advice. Can’t we all just get along?

Toyota Hybrid Highlander not worth it

I am deeply saddened by the turn of events that lead my into returning the Toyota Hybrid Highlander LTD 2008 model. I was enamored with the gadgets: My GPS is gorgeous, a pleasure in navigation. Best to update your DVD map. I was stuck in Hollywood Hills or Echo park near Dodger Stadium at a beautiful, dark dead end. I still was unable to get clear stereo sound from the Apple iPhone (old hardware-Latest Software). I found the jack (1/8 inch stereo plug) must be connected as well as the cigarette lighter power adapter to the iPhone. Without the power adapter I was getting a strange, low-output echoey version of the music. (The Porcupine Tree channel all day here) Does anyone else have this problem?

Anyway the Highlander was billed by the EPA to rate 28hwy 22city [I believe at the time]. I was barely able to get 19. Now I drive conservativaely and fast sometimes down hill. I am by no means a pedal to the metal aspirant. I even had the conservaton button pressed. No matter how hard I tried, couldn't get the thing over 20mpg.

Here's the problem: If you return a vehicle early, you are liable for the loss in value. Toyota let us out of the Hybrid in exchange for the purchase of a Toyota Prius. Which is now cost $37,000 if you tack on the loss of almost $8,000 on the Hybrid.

Too bad. That Highlander fit my house call veterinarian gear much better. Oh well back to the 2004 Ungreen gas-powered Highlander LTD. I fixed the broken sunroof which was allowing rain and leaves in. But the DVD map needs to be changed. On the way to mountain top client in the Sepulveda Pass, I found myself too far into the valley side to access. The map said to head up what turned out to be a fire road; dead-end to civilization. I had to go around and burn MORE gas to get up there and help the dog.